Walking

Monday, May 29, 2017

Back in January 2015 when I realised I was ill, and consequently started a course of antidepressants, many people encouraged me to exercise. I had been a keen cyclist and they encouraged me to keep at it and get out on my bike as much as I could. I was told, and in fact read many times, that exercise was a great way of countering some of the symptoms of depression. My issue was that the thought of going out on my bike caused me anxiety and stress, both things which I was trying to avoid and so I dismissed the notion as not for me. Nearly two and a half years later I'm starting to understand a little of what the mysterious they were talking about.

About a month ago I moved into a new flat, one which I'm living in on my own, it's great to have my own space again. As a consequence of that move I've been doing a lot more walking. It's located in such a place that I can walk to pretty much everywhere I need to go on a regular basis. I can walk to my shifts at the coffee house, my church, a couple of supermarkets, as well as the centre of town, and I've been doing that as much as is practically possible. It's become a time that I enjoy, an opportunity to pop my headphones in and listen to some music or catch up on a few podcasts.

Over the last couple of weeks I've begun to notice something, when I don't get my daily walks in my mood suffers. The realisation has come home to roost this bank holiday weekend. On Saturday and Monday I didn't really go out. I stayed home in my flat tinkering on my websites, making a few adjustments, watching some TV shows, what most people call relaxing. And it has been just that, but today I noticed the heaviness creeping in, it made me realise what effect going out for a walk has on me.

It's not just the small amount of exercise that a brisk walk provides that I've missed today, it's the intentionality of going for a walk. Instead of the day just passing by, the act of walking to work is intentional and provides an element of structure to my day. I need to schedule in the time for my walk to work otherwise I won't get there on time letting people down. It helps that my walk to work is a pleasant one down an old railway line, that's what's in the photo at the top of this post, for a moment I can be lost in the wonder of looking at the trees and greenery as I walk. It provides a chance to look at God's creation and see how the same place changes from day to day. It's a chance to walk and listen to some new music or the latest podcasts, in my own little world that's outside in the wider world. It's a chance to pop the headphones out and walk listening to the birds and rustling of the trees. When the sun's out it's especially enjoyable, but even on a rainy day I look forward to my walk to work.

Almost by accident I've discovered that the act of walking to work provides me with a moment of calm. In that walk there is nothing I can do for my design business, nothing I need to do for my coffee house shift, no tweets or Instagram photos to catch up on (unless I want to walk into my fellow walkers or be run over by the many cyclists), I can just enjoy the simple act of walking.