Together but Separate
Saturday, July 5, 2025
It’s raining outside but it’s still a balmy 18 degrees. Whilst the rain is refreshing, and the plants really need a good soak, it makes inside humid, especially in this coffee shop. It’s not my usual morning coffee spot, but the batch brew is nice and the music is creating a nice ambience. The drum beats mix with the clatter from the espresso machine and the hubbub of people chatting.
There’s an interesting mix of socialising and solitude. People on their own are smiling to themselves as they tap away at their phones, the couple in front of me sits opposite each other but they don’t converse. Little words between each other, whilst holding their phones. Together but separate. Connected but not present. It reminds me of the pub I used to work in when I was eighteen. Beer replaced by coffee. Newspapers replaced by phones. Crosswords replaced by games, or perhaps digital editions. On the surface not so different, but yet it still feels like it is.
I remember seeing a photo of a train carriage in America from decades ago. People on their commute all reading the newspaper catching up with the world before their day at work. It’s a similar scene today.
We may decry the effect that our devices are having on us, our ability to concentrate and focus, the most connected to the outside world we’ve ever been with the highest rates of loneliness we’ve ever been aware of. I don’t want to minimise those thoughts, but I wonder how different we really are to the people in that photo from 60 years ago? Perhaps it is the speed of things that is the real problem. There is no need to wait for the newspaper the next morning to get an understanding of what is going on in the world. We can see it happening in front of us, in near real time, with all the inaccuracies that we can dream of. No one goes back to correct or check, there’s no verifying, just moving on to the next thing. Even people who care about certain causes don’t take the time to learn. They feed upon the fire hose of opinion, of misinformation, there is no time to study or learn. Instead they must signal where they stand and move on.
It is sad, but I get it. Everyone is busy. Not everyone has the ability or desire to inform themselves fully before forming an opinion. It is easier to react and move on with the day.
The couple in front of me have been replaced by a Dad and his Son. Coffee and apple juice, sharing a pastry together. A moment of connection in a world of solitary people, they bring a smile to my face.