Phil Bowell

Absolute disaster. Brewed a coffee and then saw then time, might not be time to enjoy it. Tasting notes include pineapple and I could smell it as I ground the beans.

Sometimes a day hits you when things that are normally easy to do become the hardest things. I mean simple things like getting out of bed, going downstairs and making a coffee. That's the nature of depression.

When it happens you have to find ways of getting through because giving in to it can be crippling. Giving in can be the start of a downward spiral, a spiral you don't want to be in and that can take a long time to get out of. That's a place you don't want to go. Instead you have to find a way to push through, to stop the down from taking over. What that looks like is the tricky part, but for everyone there is way of doing it.

The desire to tinker is strong in this one.

I have this problem when it comes to my blog. The more I start to post to it, the more I want to tinker. The more active I am on the site, the more I notice little things I don’t like and want to fix. The more I post to it, the more I want all my internet posting to originate on it. It’s like an illness.

It’s something I’ve always struggled with, and I confess it’s a side to blogging that I enjoy. The trouble is, the more I tinker the less I post. The more I craft the design, the less time I spend writing.

It's a battle, although one I'm sure I do not face alone. It's not just the battle of a blogger, it's a battle of a designer. Most of the tinkering I do is design related, little details and quirks in my theme which I notice but very few others will. I also know from experience, that I will get to the point where I've caught the little tweaks I need to and they will be fixed. Then it's just a case of resisting the bigger things I'd like to do. Or at least knocking off the major ones first, like finding a way to post photos here and on Instagram, displaying them in a way I'm happy with. The key though, is to keep the posts flowing. Keep to my challenge of posting everyday, and getting through the tinkering stage until I get to the point where I'm just posting each day and all my published content originates here.

Or is it just a pipe dream? Should I just keep posting and ignore the little bits that nag?

But I know I can't just ignore the nagging. I'm a designer, I like details and its in my nature to keep refining bits until they're gone. To keep crafting until they as close to perfect as can be, it's just important to keep the perspective, to keep in mind that perfect doesn't exist. It's about getting things to good enough whilst keeping on posting each day and building momentum so that the writing takes over the tinkering and becomes a creative outlet in its own right.

After a good day celebrating the wedding of two friends yesterday, today calls for some serious introverting.

At the start of last week I set myself the challenge to blog everyday between then and the end of the year. Yesterday I didn't manage to post to this site, in some people's eyes I've failed the challenge already. Maybe I have, but it's not going to stop me carrying on.

These types of challenges are great to do, they add an extra bit of impetus to get going on something you want to do. A little bit of healthy competition goes a long way. But yesterday life happened, two friends got married and the day was rightly taken up celebrating that. There simply wasn't time in the day to sit down and write a post for this site, it was an exception to the norm and that's ok. I realised this early on and gave myself permission to have a day off.

A few years ago had I set myself this challenge I would've let it defeat me. The chain would've been broken and I would've let the day off turn into two, three or four days, before giving it one last effort and then stopping it. Over the last year and a half I've learnt that sometimes it's ok to give myself permission to say, it's just not going to happen today. As long as it doesn't turn into a regular occurrence that's perfectly OK, I just pick up where I left off the next day.

It's been an important lesson for me to learn, perfect is unattainable and being somewhat of a perfectionist it's a difficult thing to accept. Now in the context of this challenge, had I realised earlier in the week when I started it, I'd have written an extra post in the week so I had one in the bag and didn't break the chain. In the context of real everyday life, it's a far more important lesson to learn. I've had to learn how to give myself permission to say this is ok, this is good enough and I'm ok with putting it out there.

Starting to gain some interest in the Rio Olympics, might be something to do with the track cycling finally starting. Nothing like the prospect of some British success to pique your interest!

Got so frustrated with my iPhone I spent the morning resetting and restoring it from backup. All of a sudden I have 5GB of space on it!

I’m three days into my new blogging challenge. Enjoying having the extra creative outlet so far.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s only the second day of the challenge I set myself, to post to my blog everyday from now until the end of the year, and already I’m asking the question of what do I write about.

I would imagine it’s a familiar story to anyone who’s decided to undertake such a challenge. Going from barely writing or posting to your blog to posting everyday it’s only natural to find yourself wondering what to write about. If I hadn’t been here before it would be a big worry, it might even be so discouraging that I would just abandon ship straight away. Whilst this morning when I decided it was time to write today’s post I didn’t have anything in particular I wanted to write about I know that if I keep going and posting each day I will eventually end up with too many subjects to write about. It’s the nature of the beast, the more you do it, the more ideas you have.

There are a number of different tactics that I’ve come across over the years that are aimed at helping you come up with subjects to write about. Unsurprisingly none of them have ever worked for me, but there is one thing that does. I know it works because I’ve demonstrated it in other parts of my life, be it reading my bible or doing the work for my freelance business.

Showing up every day.

So here I am, showing up. A new sheet in Ulysses, my headphones in and I’m writing. In fact through the course of writing this post I’ve already come up with the topic for tomorrow’s post. There it is in action. Showing up today has triggered the process. The more you do something the more idea’s you have, the first step is showing up.

I've written 442 posts on this site. The first one was written on 17th January 2011, that's five and half years ago. It equates to around 80 posts per year and about 1.5 posts per week. It's not bad going, but it could be better.

During those times there's been many spells of inactivity and many spells of multiple posts per day, this is what I would like to change most about my site, the inconsistent posting patterns. Last night I found myself browsing the web in a way that I've not done for a long time. I ended up on a rabbit trail of personal blogs, one that started with a site I subscribe to that I kicked off into safari on my iPad. It felt like rediscovering the internet again. This was what got me into the blogging scene way back in 2005 when I started my first blog. There was a line in one of the articles I read that resonated with me. It was feedback that the author received regularly,

Stopping blogging regularly was one of people's biggest regrets. I certainly wish I hadn't stopped. Or I should say, I wish I hadn't let the habit slip.

Since I started blogging way back in 2005 I've had two main sites. The first site, which sadly is no longer in existence, lasted from 2006 until this site started in 2011. It was my first proper foray into internet publishing and as a result I didn't really think too much about what I would post. Topics were wide in range but naturally reflected my personal interests, something which I feel has been lost a bit on this site. Which is somewhat ironic given that this is the site which bears my full name in the url.

With that in mind it’s time to declare that this is the first post in a new challenge I'm setting myself. I want to recapture the joy that I had when I first started publishing on the web. It was something I enjoyed and did everyday, and so, that's my new challenge. I want to post to this site everyday until the end of the year. Some will be links, some will be original writing, but all of it will reflect me and my interests. I'm going to try my utmost not to pick and choose too much of what I write, I will simply write and post each day from now until December 31st.