I've written 442 posts on this site. The first one was written on 17th January 2011, that's five and half years ago. It equates to around 80 posts per year and about 1.5 posts per week. It's not bad going, but it could be better.

During those times there's been many spells of inactivity and many spells of multiple posts per day, this is what I would like to change most about my site, the inconsistent posting patterns. Last night I found myself browsing the web in a way that I've not done for a long time. I ended up on a rabbit trail of personal blogs, one that started with a site I subscribe to that I kicked off into safari on my iPad. It felt like rediscovering the internet again. This was what got me into the blogging scene way back in 2005 when I started my first blog. There was a line in one of the articles I read that resonated with me. It was feedback that the author received regularly,

Stopping blogging regularly was one of people's biggest regrets. I certainly wish I hadn't stopped. Or I should say, I wish I hadn't let the habit slip.

Since I started blogging way back in 2005 I've had two main sites. The first site, which sadly is no longer in existence, lasted from 2006 until this site started in 2011. It was my first proper foray into internet publishing and as a result I didn't really think too much about what I would post. Topics were wide in range but naturally reflected my personal interests, something which I feel has been lost a bit on this site. Which is somewhat ironic given that this is the site which bears my full name in the url.

With that in mind it’s time to declare that this is the first post in a new challenge I'm setting myself. I want to recapture the joy that I had when I first started publishing on the web. It was something I enjoyed and did everyday, and so, that's my new challenge. I want to post to this site everyday until the end of the year. Some will be links, some will be original writing, but all of it will reflect me and my interests. I'm going to try my utmost not to pick and choose too much of what I write, I will simply write and post each day from now until December 31st.

As I was leaving the coffee house this evening something made me look up, this was my view. As I snapped the photo I was reminded of something I once said to the student group at church. It was a small phrase to remind them and prompt them to keep their life in perspective. Look up, look back, look forward. To look up at God our father as the first thing we do in life, to look back at what he did for us through Jesus' death and resurrection and to look forward in that knowledge and security that trust and faith in him brings.

We’ve done it. All of us. Good job everyone. We’ve made it through January and we’re into February.

I always find January a bit of an odd month, it’s full of the initial hopes and dreams of the year ahead, yet it’s a hard slog. We spend the first week getting back into the swing of things, the second week doing our utmost to get new patterns of behaviour, thinking and habits off the ground. The third week pushing through the struggles of motivation, or lack there of; and the final week looking towards pay day to give us a glimpse that the slog has been worth while; and then before we know it, we’re into February.

February always feels like a month of transition. The weather and days start to show glimpses of spring, the evenings get noticeably lighter and we start to look forward to summer. Those new habits we tried to establish in January either live or die. We either stick by them and they become established, or they whither and die while we slip into our old established ways. Admitting defeat we move on convinced we’re never going to accomplish what we want to this year, resigning ourselves to another year of nearly but not quite.

Let’s make this year different. We’re a twelfth of the way through the year, and there’s 11 more months to go. It’s never too late to establish new habits, or find the focus we need to move on and make the year live up to the hopes we had at the start of January. Change doesn’t happen in 4 weeks, it takes work and turning up everyday to make things happen. The 21 days that it takes to establish a habit has only just passed, keep turning up and those days will turn into 42 and a well established pattern of behaviour.

I write this post as encouragement to myself as much as to anyone who reads it. Don't give up, focus and push through. Turn up and do the work, you never know what you can achieve, I’ll leave you with the words of Chef Gusteau from the Pixar film Ratatouille

If you focus on what you left behind you will never see what lies ahead!

Today marks the 71st anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau, a place which is known world wide for the atrocities that our Jewish brothers and sisters faced during the Second World War. Atrocities that I didn't know the depth of fully until I visited Yad Vashem in Jerusalem on my first visit to Israel a few years ago. Reading through the account of the holocaust in that place made me feel physically sick, I knew from my history lessons at school that it was a massive operation but I had no clue of the depth of it. No clue of how far it went in terms of the dehumanising treatment the Jews had to endure.

Sadly in today's society we are again seeing the rise of anti-semitism. It takes different forms, whether it's through the BDS movement or jihadi attacks in both Israel and Europe, this is what they are and to call them anything else forgets the beginnings of moments in history like the holocaust.

Today is a day we must remember, especially in the current cultural climate, and stand side by side with our Jewish brothers and sisters. As a child of Christ I have an even greater responsibility to stand with Israel and show them the love their Messiah has for them.

Ever since I got my first iOS device, a 2nd generation iPod Touch, I've been on a quest to work out the best way to take notes. I've tried a shed load of different apps, Simplenote, Evernote, Notesy, the built in notes app, NVAlt… in fact if you can name it I've probably tried it. I've always read with interest articles on note taking setups, how people use them, how their go to app on their iPhone works so well for them, and I've always struggled to figure out how or why that is.

You see I've tried so many times to get into the habit of using an app, or a suite of apps, to make my notes in. But for whatever reason I've never been able to stick with one. I'll go through a spell of forcing myself to use them, to form a habit so that my first thought is to use my phone or the Mac app, but they never stick. I can never get to the point where I can declare, so and so is my goto note writing app.

Except, now that I think about it, I can.

My goto for notes sits right beside me on my desk. In fact for the whole of my working life it's sat right next to me on my desk, or in my back pocket. What's it called?

Well it's called paper, or a notebook, and I make my notes on it with a pen. Try as I might I can not break the habit of using a physical notebook to make my notes.

The habit stretches back to my school days. I always had a notebook, or the back of my exercise books, which I would doodle and scribble in. Then when I was 16 I started a Saturday job in a family run hardware store which further ingrained the habit. I always needed a piece of paper and a pen in my pocket, to make a note of measurements, stock numbers, phone numbers, delivery addresses, you name it and it was on my note paper.

Then when I started uni the habit continued, my sketch book was always with me. I'd use it to make note of ideas for projects, to record comments from crit sessions with my tutors and when I got the odd freelance job, to make notes from client meetings. The way I use my notebooks has barely changed since then. When I meet a client I take my notebook and my iPad, but it never feels natural to pull out my iPad to make notes (I use it to show work). It does however feel natural to pull out a pen and jot down some comments.

There's something about the convenience of a notebook and pen that an app and my iPhone just can't break. The technology, which on the surface presents a far more superior experience doesn't seem to be able to break the hold a nice notebook and pen has over me. With my iPhone I can make a note, I can tag it, it's automatically dated and I can search to easily find what I need. It should be the best way of making notes. Except it isn't.

Tapping out a note on my iPhone, just doesn't give me the mental connection that I need when making a note of something. It may be less efficient, in the sense that it might take me a little longer to find a note because I can't search for it, but I do (generally) remember where on the page I wrote it and over time I've developed little quirks to help make things stand out. Tasks get a little box to the left of them, if I think it's important when I write it, it'll either get a star or often a box drawn around it. Information gets segregated on the page by lines, but more often than not, the simple act of writing it down is enough to commit it to my memory. It's something which, in this digital world we now live, I fear we will lose. Processing something in an analogue manner can have a far more lasting effect than doing something digitally.

There's also something rather nostalgic about using a notebook and pen. I have every single notebook from my professional life as a designer on a shelf. I can pick them up and look back to a certain moment in time and have an instant connection. I can remember where I was, who I was with and what was going on in my life at the time. Some of them are all neat and look like they've barely been used from the outside. Most of them are nicely worn, weathered with age they bulge in the middle. But I think most importantly, they present a physical instance of the work I've done in my life. The vast majority of it is created on my Mac, sure some of it's printed, but the ideas and beginnings of it all are in my notebooks. You don't get that with a list of files on a computer screen, you don't get little sketches or doodles that seemed like nothing at the time but which turned into a substantial piece of branding. The throw away moments that are so commonly created in a notebook don't even get considered in a notes app. Those are the very moments I can't give up, the very moments I won't give up. They're the very moments that bring the best out of me and my pen and notebook are the most powerful tools I own.

I wonder how often the phrase I'm bored… came out of your mouth as a child? I know it crossed my lips a fair few times, during my years at primary school. As I grew older the phrase appeared less and less, in fact I can't remember the last time that phrase crossed my lips and I don't recall it ever crossing them in my years since university.

That's troubling.

Does it mean I'm no longer getting bored? Do I get bored and no longer acknowledge it preferring to let myself while away the hours fiddling around on the internet or vedging out on the sofa?

Am I capable of getting bored or does the constant gratification provided by the various apps on my iPhone prevent it?

We live in a world where constant gratification of boredom is readily available. A world where children are growing up with iPhones and iPads available to them as soon as they are talking, if not before. Will these children be able to get bored?

These are worthy questions to consider, if people can no longer get bored, and I mean really bored. How will creativity flourish? Creativity out of boredom is a different kind of creativity to that which takes place at work. Boredom creativity is far stronger and more expressive than any other. When we are so bored that we decide to do something because it interests us, that's when some of the most exciting creativity happens. A child who picks up a guitar and starts picking/strumming a song simply because they are bored isn't playing that guitar for practise, they're playing it with a desire to create. A desire to occupy their mind and to express themselves in a way they've perhaps never done before. The same goes for an artist who picks up a sketch book, and a writer who picks up a pen.

This is as much a challenge to myself as it is to anyone reading this. Do we allow ourselves to get bored? To get so bored we are compelled to do something productive out if it. Are we capable of letting creativity born out of boredom take place, or do we just occupy our minds with the latest free game on the appstore that's taking Twitter by storm?

I'm great at making statements and promises about things that I want to do. It's easy. I think of something I wish to do, decide there and then a means by which to do it, then post to my blog declaring it in the public domain.

In principle it’s a good tactic. The public declaration should be enough of a motivation to make sure I stick to something, but the reality is that more often than not I fall short. I might stick to it for a couple of weeks, but then life will happen and that’s it, the idea slides out of existence. Why? Because of a lack of discipline.

When it comes to discipline I've generally been quite good when it comes to doing something that really matters, or something that I have to do. The trouble was when it came to doing something I wanted to do, like writing for this site. So as part of getting back into it, I've been taking little steps, to build integrity, trust and discipline.

Integrity

Building integrity with myself is critical. The number of times I've set out with an aim to do something, then not succeeded to do it are countless, and this carries over into starting new things. Whilst the intention and desire can be strong, the belief that I can do it less so. It's been erroded by years of unfulfilled promises to myself about starting to write on a regular basis.

The trick, I've discovered is to start small. It's not a new technique, but I testify that it's starting to work. I started with The Week in Links, my weekly post sharing a few links to good articles or interesting things that I've seen around the internet over the week. As of the time of writing, I've now posted an edition of that post for nineteen weeks running. I've built integrity with myself that I can post to this site on a regular basis, on a schedule I decided and wanted to commit to.

Trust

Now I have built some integrity and belief that I can do something I want to do and not just something I have to do. I'm building trust in myself that I can actually do it. I trust that I can manage the rest of my day well enough, to be able to set aside time to write.

Discipline

The trust in myself that I can do this, builds the discipline that I need to actually do it. Having established a pattern of turning up each week to post The Week in Links, I'm now disciplined enough to carve out that time each week to make sure I keep doing it.

It's a knock on effect, or maybe more of a circular cycle. The more belief that I have in sticking by my stated intentions, builds the trust I need to be able to make those intentions in the first place. In turn, that builds the discipline I need to execute those intentions, thus giving myself more belief. It's why this week I've added another step into my morning routine so that I can be sat here at my desk and do a half hour of writing before my work day begins. Not only am I building trust that I can work on writing for my site with regularity, I'm also building trust that I can get up and go through my morning routine with the time to do all that I both want and need to do.

Of course there is another side to this. If I do miss one of my carved out writing slots, I must not give myself a hard time about it. Life happens and I won't always get to do these things. When that's the case I need to be able to say nevermind, reset and go again the next day remembering that for the past however many days I've been able to do it.

It's been an interesting start to the year to say the least, but one positive from it has been the renewal of my interest in both my own blog and the blogs of others.

I've been reading blogs, or personal sites would probably be a more accurate term in 2015, since I came across them in my second year at university in 2006. Back then I loved the idea of people publishing something to the internet and quickly set my own blog up. I came across a number of great writers who like me were just finding their feet in the world of Web 2.0. In the 8 years that have passed since then, I've had a number of my own blogs and lost my motivation/desire to post to them all at various points in time.

In the early days of the blog, there was what felt like a strong community. A group of people writing about what interested them in a way which was new and exciting. It was inspiring to see others sharing in this way and it made me want to do the same. In the years since I left Uni in 2007 there seemed to be a change amongst the blogs I read. They became focused and somewhat same-y in their content, it felt like the blogs lost their personalities as their authors pursued a desire to be better writers. A few of them managed to maintain the personality that drew me to them in the first place, but, many didn't and as a result the blogs either died off or my interest in them waned. It was sad and with that homogenising of content my own inspiration and desire to write also dried up.
Over the last few months I've started to notice something different. Perhaps it's just that my own mindset has changed, or it could be that I've been finding a bunch of new sites, or a reaction to the likes of Facebook who seem to want to be the internet rather than part of it. But the personal site seems to be rising like a phoenix from the flames.

Many of the sites are specialised, with focused content, but they no longer seem to be of one voice talking about the same thing all the time. They have personality. The posts, whilst often being focused around a similar subject, are varied and seem to be a reflection of the people who write them. It's both inspiring and a joy to read these sites. They might be writing about a pen, a notebook or a new Mac, but they are doing it in a way which is interesting and engaging.

These personal sites have the polish and high standard that the web in 2015 demands, but they seem to be returning to the personality and interest that was so apparent in the the rise of the blog back in the mid naughties. It's refreshing and I'm thankful for it. I applaud those behind it and I hope it continues long into the future.

When the year turned 2014 I began to reflect on my life, who I am, where I am and what I'm doing. Why should a simple year change cause such a mood to dawn on me? At the end of September I turned 30, it also happened to mark the 10 year anniversary since I left home and moved to university here in Cheltenham. These are two significant events in my life that mark the beginning and end of the last decade, one which has been full of happy times and inevitably it's fair share of low times. Rather than this become a telling of the story that has been my twenties, I thought it more productive to look at, if I can, thirty things I've learned in the last thirty years.

1. Faith is important.
   Where you put it and in whom you put it has the biggest influence on your life and how you live it. Don't waste it by putting it into things or people, they will only let you down. Instead, place it in Jesus, He is the only firm foundation that will never go away or let you down. My Faith has helped me through both the highs and lows of the last 10 years in a way which is incredibly hard to describe, but rest assured I will never place it in anything other than Christ.
2. Family matters.
   In just over the last 10 years (I know I'm breaking the rules slightly) I've lost 4 grandparents, they are all missed greatly and especially so when big events occur. If you have grandparents spend time with them. Find out about their life before you existed, who they were, what their dreams were when they were your age. Listen to them and invest in them as much as you do your parents and brothers and sisters. One of the things I treasure most is a letter my Granddad wrote when I was 11 telling me his experiences of the 2nd World War. When I read it I learn as much about my Granddad in that letter as I did when he was alive to speak to.
3. Friends.
   They will come and go, you will keep in touch with some, you will drift away from others, there's often nothing you can do about this (although often there is). Make the most of them while you can, go out of your way to help them, support them in all they do and in any way you can. You may never know how much it means to them.
4. It's ok to be an introvert.
   I used to, in fact I sometimes still do, struggle with the fact that I am a naturally quiet person. At school, even at uni, I used to see people who can easily strike up a conversation with someone they've never met before and feel like there was something wrong with me because I find it so hard to do. It's taken many years, a lot of reading and thinking, but the realisation that I get my energy from deeper friendships and not from a room full of strangers has been incredibly freeing. The trick is to not let this become a crutch when in a room full of strangers, I still need to work on stepping out my comfort zone, but at least I know what that zone is.
5. Don't be afraid to tell your friends what they don't want to hear and don't be offended if they don't take it on board
   My best mate has never shied away from giving the kind of advice I don't want to hear. I've not always acted on it, but on reflection months later I often find it was very good advice. I hope I've returned the favour.
6. Be vulnerable
   I don't mean go spilling your heart out for all and sundry, but getting to know people properly means you have to be vulnerable. It sometimes means sharing elements of your life you may not be very proud of, but it means your friends will be able to support you in ways you really need, and it means you'll find out who your friends really are.
7. Smile
   Don't be so wrapped up in your own world that if you randomly make eye contact with someone you panic and look away. Instead, smile. Not a forced one, a genuine one. It'll make people feel like they matter and that they're not a repulsive monster.
8. Work isn't the be all and end all that people make it out to be
   If you're happy in it great, keep going. If you're not, put your all into it no matter how down you feel about it. You will probably meet more people through work than through anything else in your life and people can tell if you don't like your work, but people can tell more if you don't like it and don't care about it.
9. Time Alone
   I'm not being anti-social when I disappear off to my room/office. Time alone is incredibly valuable, too much of it can be a bad thing, but not enough of it can be very dangerous. It's ok to want to just spend time alone, doing my own thing. In fact I crave it sometimes, and when I don't get it I can be touchy, cranky, less enthusiastic about things and just generally drained.
10. Not Knowing is OK
    It's ok to not know where you're going. The world is full of people who give the impression they know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. Reality is they're probably just as lost as you are and just bumbling along in a slightly more concealed way than you feel you are.
11. Having a Plan is OK
    Expecting that plan to work out exactly how you want it to and the world to be a nice fairy tale ending isn't. That plan you had for your life at the age of 20 is very unlikely to work out, that's ok. Recognising you are not as in control as you think you are is a good thing. Surrendering to God and his plan is even better. Often it will take a big event to make you realise this, but it will bring you out the other side in a better position.
12. Don't be too introspective
    I realise this one is somewhat ironic coming from a guy who is looking back at his life and inward at himself as he reaches what feels like a significant milestone. It is important to reflect on life, the universe and everything, but doing it too often is a bad thing. It sets you up for failure as you inevitably compare yourself to your friends, the plan you had when you were 20… we are broken people and we naturally look at the negative in these circumstances. For every introspective moment, take a minute to look at the now, you're healthy, God has blessed you with another day on his beautiful creation, you have people you care about and who care about you. Dwell on that for a moment, then go and enjoy the day.
13. Trust
    Trust people. This is, on some level, linked with point 6. You can not be vulnerable with people you don't trust, but equally you can not get to the point of vulnerability without trusting someone first. So trust people. Don't be naive, there are people out there who will abuse your trust to get something they want. In my experience, you'll work out who they are before it's too late and the ones you don't, you'll learn a lot from. In those cases it will be painful for a while after, but in the long run probably worth it.
14. Don't let fear beat you
    That girl you've got your eye on, go speak to her. Don't let the fear of what might happen, or the fear of failing stop you from doing things. Stop thinking of the negative what if's and focus on the positives. Go, do and learn. This isn't easy. In fact of all the things in this list it's probably the thing I struggle with most and it's also probably the thing I get most frustrated about because I have no clue how to beat it.
15. Be disciplined
    You’ll never get what you want done in life without being disciplined in some way. Without a bit of discipline you’ll spend most of your time doing what’s easy.
16. Read
    When I was growing up I used to read a lot. When I got to my twenties what I was reading changed from books to websites. The last couple of years I’ve been actively trying to reverse that change. I still read blogs, but I’m picky about which ones and I make a lot more effort to read books (and my bible). Books have more substance. They’ve taken hundreds of hours to write, been refined over and are written by people who are experts about the topic they’re on.
17. Think
    Think about things. Think about topics of importance, take time to dwell on them and to understand them.
18. Don’t apologise for who you are
    You’re who you are because God made you that way, don’t be ashamed of that. I’m thirty and have grey hair. I’ve never once, despite the recommendations of some of the youth I’ve worked with on beach mission in Wales, been tempted to dye it. God made me and He said I was “very good”. Why would I try and change that?
19. Drink lots of water
    The last couple of months I’ve consciously been trying to drink more water. It’s had an interesting effect, I’ve felt more alert and able to concentrate much better. My skin has been clearer and I’ve lost weight as well.
20. Stop checking Facebook at every available opportunity
    Just don’t. Your life will be better off without the constant stream of people filtering their lives to make themselves feel better.
21. Keep a journal
    I wish someone had encouraged me at the age of 20 to keep a near daily journal. There have been several spells over the last few years where I’ve kept a journal. Most of those times have been to help me through difficult times. One day I might read them, but I’d much rather read them and be reminded of happy times and fun times that will help me when I’m going through the difficult times.
22. Speak to your friends
    That might seem like something that goes without saying, but bare with me. We live in a world that relies on technology so much that it’s tempting to fall into the trap that it’s the best method of communication. My best mate lives 4 hours drive away, in fact for the 9 years that I’ve known him we’ve only lived in the same place for 2 years. Had we just relied on technology (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the odd text) to keep in touch we likely wouldn’t still be the friends we are. Friendships can only be maintained over a distance by putting in effort to speak regularly. Pick up the phone and give your friends a call. Speak to them.
23. Laugh
    Find people who make you laugh. Find people who will laugh with (at) you when you do something stupid. Find people who will do things stupid that you can laugh with (at).
24. Exercise
    Don’t just sit on your backside all day, get the endorphins going. Get on your bike, go for a run, walk really quick, whatever, just exercise.
25. Pray
    You spend time with friends, so spend time with God.
26. Have perspective
    Don’t just look down at your feet. If you’re so focussed on the now, you’ll forget what’s been and miss what’s to come. Look up. Look back. Look forward. This was the phrase I ended the student bible study with last week. Look up at God because you belong to Him for He bought you at great cost. Look back at Christ and remember what He did for you on the cross. Look forward to the day when Christ will return in glory.
27. Sleep
    Get enough sleep. If I don’t get enough sleep I get tired (well duh). I can’t concentrate on my work, I lose focus when talking to friends, it affects me in many other ways and I see it in others as well.
28. Organise yourself
    Make lists or use a todo app, but do whatever it takes for you to be organised. You’ll never do all the things you want to do if you don’t know what you’ve got to do.
29. Shoulders back, head up
    It's amazing how many people I see walking down the street looking at the ground or staring at their phones. Get your shoulders back and your head up, be confidant and move with purpose, the very least it will do is make you feel confidant. It also means those people with clipboards are less likely to bother you.
30. Listen
    Be willing to listen to other people's thoughts and opinions, especially if they are opposite to yours. Show respect to what they are saying and they will show respect to you when you share your opinion. Never shut people down with a blanket statement that dismisses their opinion as wrong and closes down any discussion, it is neither productive nor constructive.

There are some posts you dream about writing, posts you'd love to write but never think you actually will. This is one of those posts.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about change. Changing the way I approached something has lead to exciting guidance and a big change in my career.

It started with a conversation with two very good friends of mine. One asked how work was, then followed it up with a query about what I really wanted to do. The other laughed, asked me a question, set me a challenge and then held me to it. That question lead me to writing the last post about a change of approach, a change which, thanks to Gods guidance is leading to a leap of faith.

What's the leap?

On Friday 3rd August I worked my last day in full time employment and spent my last day living in sunny (!?) Slough. The following day I moved to Cheltenham, again. A place I attended university and a place that I love being in.

With that move came a change of employment. I am no longer a rat running a race, but instead a man working as a business owner. I've finally taken the leap into self employment. Relying on the Lord to supply me with enough work to put food in my stomach and to pay the bills.

For a long time it's been my ambition to work for myself, even while I was studying at Uni I knew ultimately I wanted to have my own design studio. It nearly happened straight after Uni after a little encouragement from my tutor, but I knew it wasn't really the right time. There was a lot I still had to learn, well let's face it there still is. I've now been in full time employment for 5 years. I've grown a lot, I've changed a lot and I've learnt a lot. I've experienced working for a small company and I've experienced working for a larger company. Both were good experiences that taught me many different things, but underneath there was always this desire to have my own company bubbling away.

I'm delighted to say that has now happened. I've had a little holiday, moved to a new (old) place and am at the end of my first week of self employment. It's exciting, a little daunting but feels like the best decision I've made. Except that I didn't make it, God showed me the door and I pushed it. Now I've got to continue pushing doors, keep faithful to Him, and work as hard as I can.

In the next couple of weeks I'll be able to introduce you to a new name and a new website. Of course this place will still exist and I hope to increase the level of writing, and hopefully build on some friendships that I've established through my blog over the years. It's an exciting adventure, I hope you'll join me on it!