I wonder how often the phrase I'm bored… came out of your mouth as a child? I know it crossed my lips a fair few times, during my years at primary school. As I grew older the phrase appeared less and less, in fact I can't remember the last time that phrase crossed my lips and I don't recall it ever crossing them in my years since university.

That's troubling.

Does it mean I'm no longer getting bored? Do I get bored and no longer acknowledge it preferring to let myself while away the hours fiddling around on the internet or vedging out on the sofa?

Am I capable of getting bored or does the constant gratification provided by the various apps on my iPhone prevent it?

We live in a world where constant gratification of boredom is readily available. A world where children are growing up with iPhones and iPads available to them as soon as they are talking, if not before. Will these children be able to get bored?

These are worthy questions to consider, if people can no longer get bored, and I mean really bored. How will creativity flourish? Creativity out of boredom is a different kind of creativity to that which takes place at work. Boredom creativity is far stronger and more expressive than any other. When we are so bored that we decide to do something because it interests us, that's when some of the most exciting creativity happens. A child who picks up a guitar and starts picking/strumming a song simply because they are bored isn't playing that guitar for practise, they're playing it with a desire to create. A desire to occupy their mind and to express themselves in a way they've perhaps never done before. The same goes for an artist who picks up a sketch book, and a writer who picks up a pen.

This is as much a challenge to myself as it is to anyone reading this. Do we allow ourselves to get bored? To get so bored we are compelled to do something productive out if it. Are we capable of letting creativity born out of boredom take place, or do we just occupy our minds with the latest free game on the appstore that's taking Twitter by storm?

I'm great at making statements and promises about things that I want to do. It's easy. I think of something I wish to do, decide there and then a means by which to do it, then post to my blog declaring it in the public domain.

In principle it’s a good tactic. The public declaration should be enough of a motivation to make sure I stick to something, but the reality is that more often than not I fall short. I might stick to it for a couple of weeks, but then life will happen and that’s it, the idea slides out of existence. Why? Because of a lack of discipline.

When it comes to discipline I've generally been quite good when it comes to doing something that really matters, or something that I have to do. The trouble was when it came to doing something I wanted to do, like writing for this site. So as part of getting back into it, I've been taking little steps, to build integrity, trust and discipline.

Integrity

Building integrity with myself is critical. The number of times I've set out with an aim to do something, then not succeeded to do it are countless, and this carries over into starting new things. Whilst the intention and desire can be strong, the belief that I can do it less so. It's been erroded by years of unfulfilled promises to myself about starting to write on a regular basis.

The trick, I've discovered is to start small. It's not a new technique, but I testify that it's starting to work. I started with The Week in Links, my weekly post sharing a few links to good articles or interesting things that I've seen around the internet over the week. As of the time of writing, I've now posted an edition of that post for nineteen weeks running. I've built integrity with myself that I can post to this site on a regular basis, on a schedule I decided and wanted to commit to.

Trust

Now I have built some integrity and belief that I can do something I want to do and not just something I have to do. I'm building trust in myself that I can actually do it. I trust that I can manage the rest of my day well enough, to be able to set aside time to write.

Discipline

The trust in myself that I can do this, builds the discipline that I need to actually do it. Having established a pattern of turning up each week to post The Week in Links, I'm now disciplined enough to carve out that time each week to make sure I keep doing it.

It's a knock on effect, or maybe more of a circular cycle. The more belief that I have in sticking by my stated intentions, builds the trust I need to be able to make those intentions in the first place. In turn, that builds the discipline I need to execute those intentions, thus giving myself more belief. It's why this week I've added another step into my morning routine so that I can be sat here at my desk and do a half hour of writing before my work day begins. Not only am I building trust that I can work on writing for my site with regularity, I'm also building trust that I can get up and go through my morning routine with the time to do all that I both want and need to do.

Of course there is another side to this. If I do miss one of my carved out writing slots, I must not give myself a hard time about it. Life happens and I won't always get to do these things. When that's the case I need to be able to say nevermind, reset and go again the next day remembering that for the past however many days I've been able to do it.

It's been an interesting start to the year to say the least, but one positive from it has been the renewal of my interest in both my own blog and the blogs of others.

I've been reading blogs, or personal sites would probably be a more accurate term in 2015, since I came across them in my second year at university in 2006. Back then I loved the idea of people publishing something to the internet and quickly set my own blog up. I came across a number of great writers who like me were just finding their feet in the world of Web 2.0. In the 8 years that have passed since then, I've had a number of my own blogs and lost my motivation/desire to post to them all at various points in time.

In the early days of the blog, there was what felt like a strong community. A group of people writing about what interested them in a way which was new and exciting. It was inspiring to see others sharing in this way and it made me want to do the same. In the years since I left Uni in 2007 there seemed to be a change amongst the blogs I read. They became focused and somewhat same-y in their content, it felt like the blogs lost their personalities as their authors pursued a desire to be better writers. A few of them managed to maintain the personality that drew me to them in the first place, but, many didn't and as a result the blogs either died off or my interest in them waned. It was sad and with that homogenising of content my own inspiration and desire to write also dried up.
Over the last few months I've started to notice something different. Perhaps it's just that my own mindset has changed, or it could be that I've been finding a bunch of new sites, or a reaction to the likes of Facebook who seem to want to be the internet rather than part of it. But the personal site seems to be rising like a phoenix from the flames.

Many of the sites are specialised, with focused content, but they no longer seem to be of one voice talking about the same thing all the time. They have personality. The posts, whilst often being focused around a similar subject, are varied and seem to be a reflection of the people who write them. It's both inspiring and a joy to read these sites. They might be writing about a pen, a notebook or a new Mac, but they are doing it in a way which is interesting and engaging.

These personal sites have the polish and high standard that the web in 2015 demands, but they seem to be returning to the personality and interest that was so apparent in the the rise of the blog back in the mid naughties. It's refreshing and I'm thankful for it. I applaud those behind it and I hope it continues long into the future.

When the year turned 2014 I began to reflect on my life, who I am, where I am and what I'm doing. Why should a simple year change cause such a mood to dawn on me? At the end of September I turned 30, it also happened to mark the 10 year anniversary since I left home and moved to university here in Cheltenham. These are two significant events in my life that mark the beginning and end of the last decade, one which has been full of happy times and inevitably it's fair share of low times. Rather than this become a telling of the story that has been my twenties, I thought it more productive to look at, if I can, thirty things I've learned in the last thirty years.

1. Faith is important.
   Where you put it and in whom you put it has the biggest influence on your life and how you live it. Don't waste it by putting it into things or people, they will only let you down. Instead, place it in Jesus, He is the only firm foundation that will never go away or let you down. My Faith has helped me through both the highs and lows of the last 10 years in a way which is incredibly hard to describe, but rest assured I will never place it in anything other than Christ.
2. Family matters.
   In just over the last 10 years (I know I'm breaking the rules slightly) I've lost 4 grandparents, they are all missed greatly and especially so when big events occur. If you have grandparents spend time with them. Find out about their life before you existed, who they were, what their dreams were when they were your age. Listen to them and invest in them as much as you do your parents and brothers and sisters. One of the things I treasure most is a letter my Granddad wrote when I was 11 telling me his experiences of the 2nd World War. When I read it I learn as much about my Granddad in that letter as I did when he was alive to speak to.
3. Friends.
   They will come and go, you will keep in touch with some, you will drift away from others, there's often nothing you can do about this (although often there is). Make the most of them while you can, go out of your way to help them, support them in all they do and in any way you can. You may never know how much it means to them.
4. It's ok to be an introvert.
   I used to, in fact I sometimes still do, struggle with the fact that I am a naturally quiet person. At school, even at uni, I used to see people who can easily strike up a conversation with someone they've never met before and feel like there was something wrong with me because I find it so hard to do. It's taken many years, a lot of reading and thinking, but the realisation that I get my energy from deeper friendships and not from a room full of strangers has been incredibly freeing. The trick is to not let this become a crutch when in a room full of strangers, I still need to work on stepping out my comfort zone, but at least I know what that zone is.
5. Don't be afraid to tell your friends what they don't want to hear and don't be offended if they don't take it on board
   My best mate has never shied away from giving the kind of advice I don't want to hear. I've not always acted on it, but on reflection months later I often find it was very good advice. I hope I've returned the favour.
6. Be vulnerable
   I don't mean go spilling your heart out for all and sundry, but getting to know people properly means you have to be vulnerable. It sometimes means sharing elements of your life you may not be very proud of, but it means your friends will be able to support you in ways you really need, and it means you'll find out who your friends really are.
7. Smile
   Don't be so wrapped up in your own world that if you randomly make eye contact with someone you panic and look away. Instead, smile. Not a forced one, a genuine one. It'll make people feel like they matter and that they're not a repulsive monster.
8. Work isn't the be all and end all that people make it out to be
   If you're happy in it great, keep going. If you're not, put your all into it no matter how down you feel about it. You will probably meet more people through work than through anything else in your life and people can tell if you don't like your work, but people can tell more if you don't like it and don't care about it.
9. Time Alone
   I'm not being anti-social when I disappear off to my room/office. Time alone is incredibly valuable, too much of it can be a bad thing, but not enough of it can be very dangerous. It's ok to want to just spend time alone, doing my own thing. In fact I crave it sometimes, and when I don't get it I can be touchy, cranky, less enthusiastic about things and just generally drained.
10. Not Knowing is OK
    It's ok to not know where you're going. The world is full of people who give the impression they know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. Reality is they're probably just as lost as you are and just bumbling along in a slightly more concealed way than you feel you are.
11. Having a Plan is OK
    Expecting that plan to work out exactly how you want it to and the world to be a nice fairy tale ending isn't. That plan you had for your life at the age of 20 is very unlikely to work out, that's ok. Recognising you are not as in control as you think you are is a good thing. Surrendering to God and his plan is even better. Often it will take a big event to make you realise this, but it will bring you out the other side in a better position.
12. Don't be too introspective
    I realise this one is somewhat ironic coming from a guy who is looking back at his life and inward at himself as he reaches what feels like a significant milestone. It is important to reflect on life, the universe and everything, but doing it too often is a bad thing. It sets you up for failure as you inevitably compare yourself to your friends, the plan you had when you were 20… we are broken people and we naturally look at the negative in these circumstances. For every introspective moment, take a minute to look at the now, you're healthy, God has blessed you with another day on his beautiful creation, you have people you care about and who care about you. Dwell on that for a moment, then go and enjoy the day.
13. Trust
    Trust people. This is, on some level, linked with point 6. You can not be vulnerable with people you don't trust, but equally you can not get to the point of vulnerability without trusting someone first. So trust people. Don't be naive, there are people out there who will abuse your trust to get something they want. In my experience, you'll work out who they are before it's too late and the ones you don't, you'll learn a lot from. In those cases it will be painful for a while after, but in the long run probably worth it.
14. Don't let fear beat you
    That girl you've got your eye on, go speak to her. Don't let the fear of what might happen, or the fear of failing stop you from doing things. Stop thinking of the negative what if's and focus on the positives. Go, do and learn. This isn't easy. In fact of all the things in this list it's probably the thing I struggle with most and it's also probably the thing I get most frustrated about because I have no clue how to beat it.
15. Be disciplined
    You’ll never get what you want done in life without being disciplined in some way. Without a bit of discipline you’ll spend most of your time doing what’s easy.
16. Read
    When I was growing up I used to read a lot. When I got to my twenties what I was reading changed from books to websites. The last couple of years I’ve been actively trying to reverse that change. I still read blogs, but I’m picky about which ones and I make a lot more effort to read books (and my bible). Books have more substance. They’ve taken hundreds of hours to write, been refined over and are written by people who are experts about the topic they’re on.
17. Think
    Think about things. Think about topics of importance, take time to dwell on them and to understand them.
18. Don’t apologise for who you are
    You’re who you are because God made you that way, don’t be ashamed of that. I’m thirty and have grey hair. I’ve never once, despite the recommendations of some of the youth I’ve worked with on beach mission in Wales, been tempted to dye it. God made me and He said I was “very good”. Why would I try and change that?
19. Drink lots of water
    The last couple of months I’ve consciously been trying to drink more water. It’s had an interesting effect, I’ve felt more alert and able to concentrate much better. My skin has been clearer and I’ve lost weight as well.
20. Stop checking Facebook at every available opportunity
    Just don’t. Your life will be better off without the constant stream of people filtering their lives to make themselves feel better.
21. Keep a journal
    I wish someone had encouraged me at the age of 20 to keep a near daily journal. There have been several spells over the last few years where I’ve kept a journal. Most of those times have been to help me through difficult times. One day I might read them, but I’d much rather read them and be reminded of happy times and fun times that will help me when I’m going through the difficult times.
22. Speak to your friends
    That might seem like something that goes without saying, but bare with me. We live in a world that relies on technology so much that it’s tempting to fall into the trap that it’s the best method of communication. My best mate lives 4 hours drive away, in fact for the 9 years that I’ve known him we’ve only lived in the same place for 2 years. Had we just relied on technology (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the odd text) to keep in touch we likely wouldn’t still be the friends we are. Friendships can only be maintained over a distance by putting in effort to speak regularly. Pick up the phone and give your friends a call. Speak to them.
23. Laugh
    Find people who make you laugh. Find people who will laugh with (at) you when you do something stupid. Find people who will do things stupid that you can laugh with (at).
24. Exercise
    Don’t just sit on your backside all day, get the endorphins going. Get on your bike, go for a run, walk really quick, whatever, just exercise.
25. Pray
    You spend time with friends, so spend time with God.
26. Have perspective
    Don’t just look down at your feet. If you’re so focussed on the now, you’ll forget what’s been and miss what’s to come. Look up. Look back. Look forward. This was the phrase I ended the student bible study with last week. Look up at God because you belong to Him for He bought you at great cost. Look back at Christ and remember what He did for you on the cross. Look forward to the day when Christ will return in glory.
27. Sleep
    Get enough sleep. If I don’t get enough sleep I get tired (well duh). I can’t concentrate on my work, I lose focus when talking to friends, it affects me in many other ways and I see it in others as well.
28. Organise yourself
    Make lists or use a todo app, but do whatever it takes for you to be organised. You’ll never do all the things you want to do if you don’t know what you’ve got to do.
29. Shoulders back, head up
    It's amazing how many people I see walking down the street looking at the ground or staring at their phones. Get your shoulders back and your head up, be confidant and move with purpose, the very least it will do is make you feel confidant. It also means those people with clipboards are less likely to bother you.
30. Listen
    Be willing to listen to other people's thoughts and opinions, especially if they are opposite to yours. Show respect to what they are saying and they will show respect to you when you share your opinion. Never shut people down with a blanket statement that dismisses their opinion as wrong and closes down any discussion, it is neither productive nor constructive.

There are some posts you dream about writing, posts you'd love to write but never think you actually will. This is one of those posts.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about change. Changing the way I approached something has lead to exciting guidance and a big change in my career.

It started with a conversation with two very good friends of mine. One asked how work was, then followed it up with a query about what I really wanted to do. The other laughed, asked me a question, set me a challenge and then held me to it. That question lead me to writing the last post about a change of approach, a change which, thanks to Gods guidance is leading to a leap of faith.

What's the leap?

On Friday 3rd August I worked my last day in full time employment and spent my last day living in sunny (!?) Slough. The following day I moved to Cheltenham, again. A place I attended university and a place that I love being in.

With that move came a change of employment. I am no longer a rat running a race, but instead a man working as a business owner. I've finally taken the leap into self employment. Relying on the Lord to supply me with enough work to put food in my stomach and to pay the bills.

For a long time it's been my ambition to work for myself, even while I was studying at Uni I knew ultimately I wanted to have my own design studio. It nearly happened straight after Uni after a little encouragement from my tutor, but I knew it wasn't really the right time. There was a lot I still had to learn, well let's face it there still is. I've now been in full time employment for 5 years. I've grown a lot, I've changed a lot and I've learnt a lot. I've experienced working for a small company and I've experienced working for a larger company. Both were good experiences that taught me many different things, but underneath there was always this desire to have my own company bubbling away.

I'm delighted to say that has now happened. I've had a little holiday, moved to a new (old) place and am at the end of my first week of self employment. It's exciting, a little daunting but feels like the best decision I've made. Except that I didn't make it, God showed me the door and I pushed it. Now I've got to continue pushing doors, keep faithful to Him, and work as hard as I can.

In the next couple of weeks I'll be able to introduce you to a new name and a new website. Of course this place will still exist and I hope to increase the level of writing, and hopefully build on some friendships that I've established through my blog over the years. It's an exciting adventure, I hope you'll join me on it!

For the last few years I've been praying about something. I'm sure many of you have as well, but this particular thing has occupied my prayers for several years. I've been praying about it in the same way for pretty much the entire time, asking for guidance and direction in relation to the thing. During that time the urge to do that thing has grown. One could say its developed into something close to a permanent longing, something that left me unsettled because I'm not doing it and I've never really known why.

A recent conversation with a very good friend left me feeling challenged. He asked me a question and laughed at my response because it's been the same response I've given him for the last few years.

My response of course was to question why he was laughing at me, I guess feeling like he wasn't taking me serious. His response was one which caught me off guard. Instead of answering why he was laughing, he simply asked me how I had been praying about this thing. I told him and after a moments pause he responded with a challenge. Why don't you pray about it in a different way?

He commented how that as I have been praying for guidance this thing had grown in to a passion and longing, that is to say something more than momentary desire, then maybe I'd had that guidance and it was time to challenge it.

So for the last month I've been praying more earnestly and in a different manner. Instead of requesting guidance about the thing, I've been praying: Lord, I think you want me to do this, please show me if I'm wrong.
The results have been breath taking, surprising and exciting all at once. A change of events has begun that, I believe, God is using to lead me into doing this thing I've been praying about for the last few years. I'm a little apprehensive, but the over riding feeling is one of excitement. This post is not an announcement, yet, but maybe more of a watch this space…

I work as a graphic designer. Like many other folks in my profession I find it hard to turn off. I may not be thinking about projects from work all the time, but I'm always thinking about projects I'd like to do or reviewing the things I see all around me. I see every piece of design and mentally critic it, 99% of the time I'm not even aware I'm doing it, but it's there, almost like a 6th sense wondering what questions the designer faced.

I've lost count of the number of times I've sat in a restaurant looking at the menu only to realise I'm not looking at what's on offer but the way it's been typeset. What font did they use? What does it make me think of the restaurant? Does it make the food I'm reading about sound even tastier or does it make me think I'll be left wanting more? Does the menu fit the surroundings or does it just feel like a designer somewhere threw it together because he didn't get a proper brief?

It's a pretty constant state of affairs. Right now I'm glancing at the empty can of San Miguel thats sitting on the dining table. Does it look like the taste? Does it make me want to lie on a hot beach in Spain? What the heck has a ship got to do with beer? Why did the designer pick gold as the main can colour and break away from the green and white that used to be there?

I can't turn it off, and many a time I've amused good friends as I verbalise my critique.

Unfortunately relaxing is made all the more harder by it. I read to do my relaxing, mostly the blogs of a select few but they're people who I've come to trust. I trust that the links they post are to interesting content, articles that can lead me on a chase around the internet looking at websites, new websites. Websites that start the inner critic on it's familiar chain of questions. Questions that lead me to find another way of reading.

Books.

Mostly made of paper that smell of ink and aren't displayed on a screen. However, in this age of constant stream of information that feeds a thirst for knowledge, growth and understanding, I find I need a book that doesn't make me think too much. There's no point going to bed to read only to lie in bed for hours thinking about the chapter I just read and the challenges or knowledge it imparts. I need a good story. Something that will make me keep turning the pages, compelling me to read. So it is with great joy in the last year or so that I've discovered an author I enjoy, one that draws me to read rather than watch inane tv shows.

It's not the novels that I write this about though, it's the impact they have on me. As well as helping me relax, they force me to use my imagination. When reading about the unravelling story I'm forced to imagine the scene, what people look like and where they are. I'm forced to stop asking the questions I ask all day long as I review and work on the various projects I have on the go. That time away from questioning and evaluating can only have one impact as far as I'm concerned, that is, to make my work better. Having time to just imagine frees me from the constraints that are so often put in place when working. They may be imposed on me by the projects, or by the presssures I put on my self, but the more I read and use my imagination in a completely unattached manner. The more creative I feel, the more my imagination is fed the more easily I find work.

In a time when the people around me seem to read more than they ever did, I seem to be the only person among my friends who reads novels. I'd like to encourage you to start. Take a short story and read it. Start small and find something that feeds your imagination, a story which gives it new life and see what impact it has on your work.

It's that time once again when many people are posting reviews of the year just passed. I always enjoy reading these posts, seeing the people I follow who have achieved all that or more than they hoped to whilst hoping those who didn't are able to in the coming year. I'm always drawn to writing something myself, and whilst my last year contains many highlights – my trip to Israel, a summer in North Wales and a deepening of friendships that have become increasingly valuable – I always feel somewhat hesitant to “review my year”.

I think the heart of that hesitancy lies solely in my feeling of a lack of accomplishment. I never feel I've achieved anything worth writing about or highlighting. I call it the curse of the Internet. It's so easy to spend time looking and comparing what I've done to all the people who have achieved a great deal, all the people who've had the guts to sit down work hard and put themselves out there. I'm always left reeling at, what feels like, my complete lack of gumption.

I am learning though. Learning to not let that fear of failure or fear of no one noticing be the reason to stop myself from doing the things I want to. Thats why I'm writing this post, to set out three small targets to try and set me on my way this year. I think they are all achievable and am hoping they will set me on my way to accomplish something this year.

In the last year I've put weight on. Some people will argue that I needed to, I've always been a bit skinny, but in the last year I've put on a little too much. I weighed myself over the Christmas holidays and well the number at the start was too high. My first mission is to lose a stone in weight by exercising more regularly and cutting out those little treats which have snuck into my diet.

The past couple of years has seen my blog fall in to decline, significantly. I've always enjoyed writing for my blog, but the past couple of years has seen a lot of things change in my life and it didn't feel right to be writing about them here. Nor did it seem right to continue writing about things which on reflection are quite trivial when compared to the loss of loved ones. But time is moving on, and I feel that it is time to pick up my pen once again and begin writing for my blog with more regularity. I realise I've said this before, and it's gotten past January, February and into March before I've really realised I've not done anything I'd hoped to, so I've given myself a number to aim for. I'm going to try to write four posts a month. Not four link posts, but four article posts, although I hesitate to call them articles. There'll be no word count, just original content, content I create because I want to and enjoy it.

The third thing I want to do is a little more open ended and probably something that everyone hopes to do. I'd like to use my time to greater effect.

I've always been a night owl, I like staying up late, the quiet cosiness of being up late with a small light on and my book, sketch book or Mac for company feels great. The problem is when you have a nine to five job that kind of behaviour is not really helpful. Hitting the sack in the early hours of the morning and then rising only a few hours later to go to work is a recipe for disaster. Burning the candle at both ends only really has one destination for me, running myself in to the ground and an onslaught of mouth ulcers. So in order to combat this tendency to waste my time, I'm resolving to give my self a bed time and get up earlier. My aim is to be up at six each morning in order to do a half hour of exercises, then spend time reading my bible, praying and whatever is left can be spent writing.

Re-reading that last paragraph makes it feel like a pretty big task, but I think knuckling down and doing it will help me to achieve the other two points. More than that though, having a set time to sit and read my bible without distraction will be the biggest benefit of all.

I've always admired those who are able to get up early and spend some time each morning to do this. While I'm away in North Wales for two weeks every year, I spend time leading a children's holiday club. When I'm there, life is so different to my everyday life that I'm able to easily get up early and spend time each morning reading from the word. I've become acutely aware in the last few weeks that it's all down to a matter of attitude. I'm so aware of how important it is in those two weeks to devote my time in such a manner, that it's time to change my attitude and devote that time every morning rather than in the evenings when I find it harder to concentrate and often run out of time. It's something that I enjoy, but often feel a need to do out of duty, yet, when I set time aside I've seen the benefits in my life and my relationship with Jesus. I want to do it more and so this attempt to change my sleeping patterns is motivated by that desire.

And so with that, please join me in raising my hot blackcurrent to 2012 and all it has in stall!

These days, I'm sure like many, my primary source of reading material is via the internet, or more specifically my feed reader. There's a lot of great content out on the web and filtering out the cruft to get to it can be a bit of a mission. We are bombarded with information clamouring for our attention the moment we open our web browser, so finding a way of weeding out the crap to reveal the good stuff is imperative.

The trouble is once you've found a few choice blogs which provide you with quality and fairly regular content, doors are opened. Opened to a world of inspiration. Inspiration to create for yourself, be it design, writing or whatever floats your boat. This in itself is fantastic. The more good stuff out there the more everyone benefits and the more people are inspired to go out and create. Let's face it at the heart of everything that's created there's an inspiration that's been harnessed to produce something unique.

On the other side of this there's a negative. Once you're up and running creating content that you are pleased with, the distractions appear. There's traffic stats, how many people are visiting? How many people are staying? How many people like what you've done enough to subscribe and be notified when you create more? Then there are the comparisons. How come they get more than me? What's so different about their writing than mine? Why can't I execute my designs like that? It has an impact. It stops you creating, you lose your focus and the things you do create don't bring the enjoyment they used to. Creating becomes a chore as you try to find the break through that will bring you the traffic, or is it the recognition, of the people you look up to?

It's a nasty spiral and something we all go through. For whatever reason, it seems to be human nature to compare what you create to those around you. It starts early in school. There's the competition with grades, that feeling you've put your heart and soul into something yet you only get a B but your mate gets an A and did it all the night before. Every time you go home your parents remind you, there's no proof they did it the night before. Chances are they worked on it just as much as you did, if not more, and therein lies the reason for their higher grades.
Similarly the same applies to the blogs and designers you come across on the internet. They've worked at it, and they've worked damn hard. It doesn't just come over night, for some it comes quicker than others, but every time it's deserved.

The trick is to make it enjoyable. Find that thing that makes you smile. That gives you the satisfied feeling up on pressing publish which can only come when you've worked at something. Remove those barriers, get rid of the nagging questions. Push them aside and concentrate on making what you create the best it can be. When you have those crises of confidence. Take a step back, review the situation, look at what you've done in the past that has satisfied you and know that you can do it.

Most importantly check your motivation. If you're creating to try and satisfy others what you create won't be the best it can. You can't satisfy others because you don't know exactly what their requirements and needs are. You only know what will satisfy you, and you'll only know it when it's been achieved.

So what satisfies me?

Knowing that I've done my best to bring to glory to God in all I do. As a Christian my priority is my relationship with Jesus. I try and begin each day with spending some time with my Lord, reading His word, listening and speaking with Him.

I go to work in the knowledge that I'm not going alone. That He is with me, my source of inspiration, my motivation. I try to work in a way that demonstrates this to my colleagues through my behaviours and the way I approach my work. All in the hope that they will see something different with in me.

So what's the reason for this post?

It's somewhat of a reminder. That if that's the way I approach my work, why is it that the figures in my Mint installation matter so much? They shouldn't. The reason I like to create is the same as the reason I apply myself to my work in the manner I do. I want to use my gifts to bring glory to Him. I want to create quality content, not because it might increase the numbers, but because I want people to see that I've something in my life that matters far more. Something that drives me to do that best I can in everything I do, not just in certain areas of my life, but in everything.

Nothing quite like coffee in a Starbucks mug. It’s best if the coffee in it is from Starbucks, but I like drinking coffee at my desk with my Feed Reader as my reading material. Lucie’s parents got me a Starbucks gitfcard for Christmas as well, I’m sensing a trend here! A good one though, it means I have more of an excuse to go to Starbucks and just to generally drink nice coffee!